'Ho on the Road

Hey Y'all:

Greetings from the Windy City, where CrackHo is ensconsed this week with her peeps the fine ***unnamed newly titled professionals*** of the ***really fine organization which can't be associated with this blog for reasons that should be apparent to all***.

First, a fashion update from last weekend as Mother o'CrackHo put together a new look for the Crackster as I prepared for a Social Engagement. A new visual for ChemoHair. A big shout-out to Diddy for filming and not hitting the "erase" button.

CrackHo is staying at the Hyatt at Hamburger University (yes, the Golden Arches type burger), which is decorated with all manner of Golden Arches memorabilia. Between 4-hour naps, lo and behold, I discovered just outside the CrackHo room at Hamburger University, the following Tribute and Reminder that Ho-ness is not confined to any One Location. Apologies for not editing...but what the heck does McDonald's mean by "Ho Scale"?

Hey there Kens and Barbies...

Malibu so greatly shared our news that we are all still busy handling the day to day. Wanted you all to know that Joni is also having chemo on Monday via spinal fluid. Don't know all the details except the wonderful Doc Hen feels that to cover all the places the big, bad lymphoma may want to travel to he wants to do this "extree" chemo to zap any untraceable gunk that may be floating around. We all love his thoroughness!! I'll be in attendance to video/photo shoot any of those great C Ho moments she's becoming so well known for.
Our new granddaughter will probably make an early entrance around September 1st. Can't wait! Should know more after Tiffany goes to the doctor again tomorrow. Black Canary Barbie nonna thinks Labor Day Holiday is a great time to schedule labor. The oldest son of BCB, oldest nephew of Aunt Crack Ho checks blogg and must share his thoughts on this upcoming grand event in the comments column...you're up Harris!

We're still here.

For those of you wondering where we've been, well, we've been around. C-Ho is through with her first treatment, and won't have another until late-ish August. She's currently "on assignment" and not-as-available for posting at the moment; Black Canary is diligently serving clients who've been awaiting her special attention, while she multi-tasks by prepping for grandparenthood, and Malibu is a'working. We'll update more later! Check back soon.

She's freaky and I like it.

Crack-Ho: This one goes out to you, from your loving bro-in-law, Freebster Boings. He's rockin' to a song about you by Justin Timberlake, lyrics as follows:

She's got me love stoned
Man I swear she's bad and she knows
I think that she knows
She's freaky and she knows it
She's freaky, but I like it
She shuts the room down
The way she walks and causes a fuss
The baddest in town
She's flawless like some uncut ice
I hope she's goin' home with me tonight
And all she wants is to dance
That's why you'll find her on the floor
But you don't have a chance
Unless you move the way that she likes
That's why she's goin' home with me tonight

Enthused Infusion

Who can turn a trip to the "ladies' room" with a chemo infusion hookup into a new age music event? Crack-Ho can!

From the Piedmont Hospital Interventional Radiology Video Training Library: How to Use Your New Port

CrackHo here to give a big shout-out to Stella, Skanks, and DFFF for the props on the infusion post. By popular demand and just because you axed for it, here is the training film Black Canary and I made for Piedmont Interventional Radiology on "How to Use Your New Port."

You'll get to see all 3 takes we had to do to get the filming all synchronized and in a form usable for new patient instruction. After all, when one is sucking chard straight into the arteries, one rockets to a whole new level of "Cheap Date."

We try to ask only the most important questions...

Of the many questions we posited to Doc Hen a week or so ago were such pressing queries as:

• Can Crack Ho clean out the kitty litter box while infusing? (answer: yes, w/gloves)
  
• Can Crack Ho continue to cycle? (answer: yeah, baby cuz you look hot in those bike shorts)
  
• Is caffeine ok during treatment? (answer: in small quantities) What about wine? (answer: in small quantities and only if you can suck it up through your port...which we've since learned C-Ho is very talented at doing.)
  
• Can I continue to paddle on the river? (answer: yes. But by this time, Doc Hen was looking a little dazed)
  

Turns out we left out a critical question, but Crack Ho axed Hen today: Can I get my nails done?

Without even blinking, Hen said "Yes! And I like them blue shooz!"
He's a keeper!