'Ho's Reunion and Call-Out on Ben!

Since infusion is a little 'Ho-Hum these days, thought y'all would rather see a clip from 'Ho's high school reunion last weekend (the exact anniversary will be a secret since the math would indicate that I graduated from said high school while still in utero).

'Ho made a public Call-Out to her classmate Ben who is way too famous and smart to have his real name used in a shameless forum like this. Call-Out was: Ben, if you come to the reunion I, 'Ho, will shave my head. Ben was so geared up he counter-called-out: he would shave his legs if I shaved my head. So here's the proof: even though his bride ratted him out saying he used Nair and a garden hose in the backyard to avoid nicking those tricky knees.

Our partners in crime are Carol and Sam and Cathy. We can't use their last names or they would have to change religions, spouses, and professions (hard to do when you're a famous writer in Texas!!!)

BTW, 'Ho knows the Call-Out was a little Clinton-esque ("truthy" not "truthful") since she had already shaved her head well in advance of the Call-Out. BUT, all that truthiness was overlooked in the festive atmosphere of a hairless reunion!

The Amazing Race. Read the story before you watch the vid!!

Feeling the call of sibling bonding and adventure, Crack 'Ho and Malibu set out in Spring '08 to apply for The Amazing Race. For those not in the know (which included Crack 'Ho as of this taping), TAR is a reality show on CBS that pits teams of couples who know each other against 10 or 11 other couples in a race around the world. The race is fraught with dilemmas, obstacles and other things that can either strengthen or ruin a relationship. Who better to try out than us? Hm. The first step in the application process involves filling out an application (duh). But this is no ordinary application. It asks questions that even your spouse would hesitate to ask! Nonetheless, 'Ho and I completed the application and moved on to step two: create a 3 minute video explaining why we should be on TAR. 'Ho came over to the Barnes' House on a stormy night where we spent 3 hours taping to come up with a 3 minute video. The taping was interrupted by a tornado, from which we hid in the parking lot of Ikea nearby. Too bad that wasn't on the video! Anyway, our 15 minute outtake video is freaking hilarious, but rife with expletives that would make Mom of 'Ho shudder, and may eliminate any future job prospects for those on tape. So, without further ado, here's the 3-minute toned down version we sent TAR. Needless to say, since the show is on TONIGHT and 'Ho and I are in Atlanta, we didn't make it. They got, instead, a couple of blond "Southern" belles instead. Ratings have plummeted.

Of course, Ms. 'Ho got herself in to an Amazing Race of a different sort. And this one, she's gonna walk away from as a total winner...

Hell, We're ALL Mad! (But 'Ho Loves ya!)

CrackHo here to give y'all a little shout out and some encouragement in these Dark Days, and I don't mean cancer-dark. I keep telling folks I'm in recession...aren't we all!

My attorney laughed out loud today for the first time in 2 years (yeah, 'Ho believes in long-term relationships, even with her lawyers) when I described my Post-Divorce Asset Transfer technique, here seen for the first time on video.

Thanks for sticking it out (uh well you know what I mean) and coming back for more!

It's a "wait and see" game.

'Ho's chemo went well yesterday - a good visit with Doc Hen/Cod Neh and the troops in the infusion suite. Black Canary was on her way to Florida to help with wedding planning for her baby boy; Mom of 'Ho and Malibu joined 'Ho for the adventure. Received good report from the doctor, though all future decisions - total number of chemos, radiation or not, etc. etc. are always tagged with "we'll wait and see". Two more spinal taps - ugh. Radiation w/b determined after chemo #5, as will the total number of chemos. Doc Hen admired 'Ho's latest head-tattoo as well as the way she looked in that bike outfit at the MS ride. 'Course, he totally blew the goodwill when he referred to 'Ho as a "postmenopausal woman". Maybe we should take him the "How to Win Friends and Influence People" book on our next visit...