1) "Hi! My name is wig."
2) "You have a large circumference and a small interior measurement." (i will not tolerate that kind of language in front of my siblings, wig'ho!)
3) "Your follicles are speaking."
4) "This wig is Linda."
5) "This wig is Linda."
6) "This wig is Linda."
WAIT. How is that possible?
7) "This wig is Olivia."
That's better.
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