Cheerleader Feet

CrackHo was at her favorite mid-chemo haunt th'other day (Fuzziwig's @ The Ave. in the EC) munching on some mini-Reeces cups and having a stroll. Almost dropped my melty mint nonpareils when I heard 2 teenaged boys tell a lovely teenaged girl:


"yeah you know she's got, like, cheerleader feet."


whaddya mean, she sez.


"like, they're so, like, pretty and all neat and stuff."


So THAT's the secret!!!! Sinnergirls, that's one thing we can ALL get down with: Cheerleader Feet. No cartwheels required. So, check out Diddy above enjoying the magic of Cheerleader Feet. Then, enjoy the Cheerleader Feet of Ryleigh's Aunt TooTall, Auntie CrackHo, BabyMamma and Ryleigh Coyote herself:

Top Ten Things You Can Do for a Cancer Patient

1. Laugh at my jokes (and post on my blog).
2. Remind me if I’ve already told you a story or joke that I’m launching into. Don’t worry: I don’t have Alzheimer’s on top of everything else. It’s just ChemoBrain and they promise, sort of, that it will go away and I won’t be tedious forever.
3. Insist that I buy myself jewelry.
4. Let me know if I have broccoli between my teeth. Yes, cancer patients still have open to us all the normal ways to be embarrassed in public.
5. Set me up with your bald single friends. At least we’ll have something to talk about, and if we hit it off we can indulge in the pleasures of mutual phrenology.
6. Forgive me and tell me to take a Xanax. There may be times when I’m as whine-y as a toddler past her naptime, as needy as an arts nonprofit, and as charming as Ann Coulter, all at the same time. I still love you and need your attention and sometimes, a reminder that Meds Are Good.
7. Please ask me before you send the details of my projectile vomiting to your prayer chain.
8. Remind me that I have a therapist and that there is sometimes TMI even between friends who love each other. As necessary, gently nudge me to the person who is paid to listen to my overwhelming bullshit.
9. Let me talk about death and pain and suffering. Oh, wait, the divorce is final. Never mind.
10. Find ways to give me credible compliments, even if it’s as creative as “OMG you so met your deductible for the whole year!!!”, or, “Do you know how hot you look with your bare ass hanging out of that skanky hospital gown?”

And just because I don't have any fun new videos yet (I know, what a slacker), I'm gonna post the whole Chemo Candy-eating video. To me it looks like an alien eating some strange eggs...but you decide! (Malibu, where are u? We need some fresh wit & humor!!)

Black Canary brings Conehead Mass Quantities of Chemo Candy!

A wonderful event chez Infusion today was the arrival of Black Canary Barbie with a giant gift bag with mass quantities of candy for the infusion picnic. Even more wonderful: some of it was wearable! That BCB thinks of everything, including edible accessories!

Here BCB captured the adventure of CrackHo Conehead discovering her inner Pocohontas look with a sweet-tart necklace. She then gave in to temptation. Funny nobody in the Suite wanted to try any candy after that...


Obligatory factual updates:
1. Doc Hen (OMG!!***sighs***) sez that oh yeah baby let's do some radiation treatment after all. Has everything to do with avoiding brain cancer. An avoidance which is top on the 'Ho's list. So CrackHo will spend part of the Yuletide under a very expensive tanning lamp (like to tan your innerds). Will def cut down on the snackage she consumes during the holidays. At least I'll be able to fit into my 'ho 'ho 'ho attire. Doc Hen sez no stomach tube so we won't have to worry about mashing up Freebster Boings most excellent chocolate and red pepper cookies into liquid...
2. CrackHo has discovered that Beldar Conehead is the dad, so therefore she cannot be Beldar. Connie Conehead just isn't bling enough for this here site, and Pyraamar the mom's name has been optioned by Mother o'CrackHo.
3. You can call it infusion but it feels like chemo. You can put lipstick on a pig and call it Monique but it is still a pig. You can call her CrackHo and she's still...CrackHo! (Hey Monique can I borry yo' lipstick??)